My baby does not like to be touched

For human beings, physical contact is a way of expressing love, affection, and creating a connection with others. As parents we establish an irreplaceable bond during the first months of our children's lives, and we strongly link it to physical contact, kisses, hugs and cuddles are our main tools.

But what happens when a child does not like physical contact? Maybe there is something wrong, is the first thought that comes to mind. To what extent it may be a sign of a developmental disorder or simply part of their temperament.

For some strange reason we adults believe that all babies behave the same way, that they learn to walk at the same age, and that they must like or dislike the same things. But this couldn't be further from the truth. Each baby is unique, will have a preference for certain games, foods, and even affection.

The reason why a baby does not like to be touched may be linked to his or her temperament. Temperament can be defined as an individual's tendency to react in a certain way to his environment. And an example may be the rejection of physical contact, remember that temperament is innate and independent of learning, this means that biologically your baby may be predisposed to not accept physical contact, although their parents are loving and instill physical contact as a form of affection.

Rejection of physical contact may occur for developmental reasons, when babies begin to seek independence. This happens between the ages of three and six, when for developmental reasons they demonstrate their autonomy by rejecting physical affection.

The lack of physical interaction with parents during the first months of life may also determine the low tolerance to physical signs of affection such as hugs. This may be due to the temperament of the parents, who are often not accustomed to showing affection through contact. This does not imply that we are bad parents, but as we mentioned before, it is a biological factor that determines our behavior.

And it is important to mention that the rejection of physical contact may have emotional causes, such as jealousy due to the arrival of a new member of the family or the search for attention from the parents. In these cases the behavior is usually transitory and is solved by giving exclusive spaces of attention to the child.

Finally, it is important to keep in mind that each child is unique, their needs and the way in which they express and receive affection may be different from our expectations. What we must always keep in mind is that, although our child is small, we must respect their wishes and be understanding with respect to the rejection they express.

Forcing a child to show affection through hugs and kisses is not the answer. Nor is it recommended to use emotional blackmail or to make love conditional on physical displays of affection. As parents we should be the first to accept that our child prefers other forms of recognition and affection. We can use words, smiles, and praise as a way of letting him know how important and loved he is.