Have you received the news of the arrival of a new member of the family? Congratulations, beautiful and unforgettable moments will come, such as the first time the eldest meets his or her little brother or sister. Although it is also natural that you are overcome with mixed feelings, because you don't know how your firstborn will react to the news.
Jealousy is a common reaction in little ones, it is an irrational feeling that is linked to sadness for the loss of space, objects, or attention. Jealousy can also generate loss of self-esteem and a sense of rivalry. It appears shortly after the age of one, when your little one develops expectations. Imagine that during your whole existence you have been the master of your parents' attention, every need and desire has been a priority for them, and now the attention is shared, but not only that, the space, the objects, it changes the life of your little one.
Avoiding jealousy in the infant stage can be a challenge, because as parents you must divide your time and attention in two, or more. However, jealousy must be properly addressed, because for your little one the feeling of abandonment can be overwhelming and have repercussions in their daily lives. More than half of the new older siblings will become naughty, demanding and even aggressive.
The age of your first little one will be a determining factor in the appearance of jealousy, which is a stage that all humans go through. Between the ages of 2 and 4, children are highly dependent on their parents, who continue to satisfy many of their affective needs. After the age of 3, independence is greater, and the little one has understood that the love and attention of their parents will not disappear easily.
Even so, your little one's personality can influence his or her feelings about the arrival of a sibling. And jealousy can start even before the baby arrives, so here are some ways to prevent it and deal with it successfully.
Before pregnancy
The best prevention is to consider that the arrival of the new baby is after 3 years of age of the firstborn, this to allow him/her to reach a greater emotional maturity and that the space between the stages of development of one and the other does not imply that they share objects and activities.
During pregnancy
Involving the little one in the pregnancy process is ideal so that the news does not come as a surprise, allowing him/her to feel his/her movements in the womb, to observe the ultrasounds, to have a voice in the preparation of the baby's space at home.
At birth
Allow the baby to meet the new member in a neutral space, preferably not in the mother's arms. The first meeting can be decisive in the baby's emotions, let him/her get to know him/her and develop his/her own response to his/her brother or sister.
The first months
A newborn is demanding, and your older toddler may feel that the baby always gets the attention. It is crucial that you spend exclusive time with your older one, listening to them and attending to their emotions. Little by little you can teach them to share, take turns, and live together, but from the start it is important that they feel they are still loved and cared for.
The early years
Although jealousy is usually a developmental stage, when it is not dealt with correctly it can become a norm in the relationship between siblings. This is why it is essential to allow them to play with each other, to solve problems on their own and to learn to live together. Recognizing and reinforcing positive attitudes as soon as they occur is valuable; if your little one shared with the youngest, acknowledge it at the time. On the contrary, negative attitudes such as annoyance, crying, or aggressiveness should be ignored as much as possible. Avoid at all costs comparisons, ridiculing, or shaming your child for acting out of jealousy.
Your best weapon in the face of jealousy will be to focus on the positive. Talk to your child about the good things he or she has done, what to do instead of getting angry, and help your child identify and name his or her emotions. Emphasize the importance of being the older one, the advantages of being the more knowledgeable one. Practice empathy and validate your child's feelings, there is no better way to help them than with love.
.png)
Submit comment Cancel Reply